Not Here to Hold Your Hand
by Arwendle
Summary: Sam arrives home after "Bullet Proof" and ponders his day.
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N- I haven't written any fanfiction in a very long time but last night's episode "Bullet Proof" started a little plot bunny in my head which grew much larger than I ever intended. I hope that you enjoy it._**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own "Rookie Blue" and while this is an original interpretation of the material, several lines of dialogue were encorporated into the story verbatim._**

* * *

Sam tossed his keys on the counter and flopped down on his couch.

"This is just great!" he grumbled to himself, thinking back over the events of the day.

A day which had started out very badly or very well depending on whether you started counting when he woke up with double-vision and a blinding headache or several hours earlier when he had taken Jerry for all of his money and his facial hair at the poker table.

Sam got up and pulled a bottle of scotch from a rather empty cupboard containing a few dusty cans of chilli and a package of instant noodles.

It was a good thing that Andy had insisted on feeding him since he had used the last of his eggs that morning to make some god-awful hangover concoction that Shaw had sworn by.

As a result, his fridge was stocked with nothing other than an incomplete six-pack, a week old container of takeaway curry, some milk, a slab of butter, and several varieties of barbecue sauce.

It had been over a month since his cover had been blown and he had moved back into his apartment but he hadn't bothered to resume basic household tasks like grocery shopping, general cleaning, and taking out the recycling, except when necessity dictated.

It was like a return to normalcy would force him to admit to himself that he was back for good and wasn't just biding his time until he could go undercover again and finish the job that he had sacrificed eight months of his life and a girlfriend to complete. The truth was, that despite all of that, he had actually enjoyed being back on patrol.

"Damn you, McNally" he muttered.

At least the bottle of scotch was mostly full. He poured himself a glass but one sniff of the strong alcohol sent his still tender stomach reeling and he placed it back on the counter un-tasted.

He had been determined to hate her for ruining his cover but there was something about her that was so earnest and sincere that it was like trying to hate a kitten.

The girl had even managed to engage him in her emotional ups and downs and her successes and failures as she tenaciously attempted to prove herself a worthy police officer.

Maybe, as Shaw had implied, he was giving her more attention than he had ever given to a rookie before but she was going to be a good cop and he was simply doing his duty as her training officer to make sure that she reached her full potential. He pulled the milk from the fridge and took a swig directly from the carton.

It didn't hurt that she was beautiful...and intelligent...and caring...and funny...and exactly not his type which was exactly the problem.

Andy McNally had gotten under his skin and he didn't know how to get her out. Worse, he wasn't sure that he wanted to.

Damn you McNally was right. Sam threw the carton in frustration. It hit the wall with a satisfying thwack.

Milk splattered in big drops across the floor and dripped down his cabinet. Feeling slightly better, he sighed and grabbed a washcloth.

He should probably clean it up. While he was at it, he might as well wipe down the counters and deal with the empty takeout containers that were festering by the sink.

In the morning, he might even consider going to the grocery store.

* * *

Popping Tylenol like they were Tic-Tacs had only served to mute the pounding in his head to a constant dull throb.

As a result, he hadn't been in the best mood when he arrived at work that morning. He was glad to have been paired with Andy.

He didn't think that he could have handled any of the other rookies especially the crazy one or the ingratiating princess who wore too much make up.

Still, he hadn't even summoned the energy to care when Callahan had asked to have McNally for the day, something he usually would have taken great pleasure in denying.

If Callahan wanted a rookie puppy to follow him around, that was fine with Sam.

It meant that he was free to spend the day riding a desk and wallowing in his misery in the way that only a grown man with a hangover can.

* * *

Sam spent the morning successfully rearranging stacks of reports and paper into piles on his desk.

He was staring blankly at a list of evidence, when his cell phone rang obnoxiously, causing fireworks to explode through his vision. He glanced at the caller ID. "What?" he grunted into the phone.

"I need your help." Andy begged through the phone.

"I thought you were with Callahan." He replied rubbing his eyes.

"Yea well he left me in charge of guarding some evidence. Well it's a witness actually...It's a witness with some evidence." Her voice seemed to penetrate deep into his brain opening up new chambers of discomfort.

"McNally, I already have a headache."

"Look I lost the witness, okay. And, and the doctor said he was going to be asleep for hours." Jeez, the kid really was a rookie.

"The doctor said? The doctor's not a cop. Where's Callahan?"

"Ok listen, I have to find this kid before Luke finds out I lost him." Her familiar use of Callahan's first name annoyed him and she hadn't answered his question.

"And I care because?" Sam said smugly, already suspecting that he was going to break down and help her at any second.

"You care because..." The volume of her voice was creating an amazing cacophony in his head and he found it difficult to process more than a few words of her speech.

"Mumble, mumble, Boyko, mumble carjacking, mumble, training officer, mumble, mumble, office, mumble, scream."

In Sam's fuzzy brain, something seemed wrong. Wasn't McNally Callahan's problem today? Shouldn't he be dealing with this?

But formulating that thought into a coherent sentence seemed far more effort and far less likely to stop the reverberation that this conversation was causing in his skull than just going along with whatever she wanted.

"Alright, alright calm down. What do you need?" He said softly, hoping that she would take the hint and follow his lead. She was too worked up and began to jabber again rapidly.

"Ok. Luke brought in this kid named Benjamin Kelly and all of his personal effects are in booking. See if you can find his cell phone."

"Jeez." Booking was all the way at the other end of the station which meant that he was going to have to walk at least 50 metres.

"Oh and um, Luke took the car so could you pick me up?" Sam took the phone away from his ear and stared at it.

Obviously his big "I didn't ask to train a rookie. I am not your boyfriend. I am not going to hold your hand." Speech on his first day as her TO hadn't left a big impression.

"Please?"

About as big an impression as her self-proclaimed "I don't date cops" policy apparently, he thought bitterly. Speaking of which, where had that tool Callahan gone? And why, on today of all days, did he have to be the one to help clean up Andy's mess so that "Luke" wouldn't be disappointed in her?

"Uh-huh. Yea" he said rather non-committaly. He slapped the phone closed and revelled in the momentary silence.

Then he pushed back his chair and stood up. Of course, he was going to go to the hospital and pick her up like he was picking up a kid at soccer practice.

He couldn't look at these papers any more anyways and getting some fresh air would probably be helpful. Besides, she was his rookie, no one else's, and he was responsible for her.

* * *

When Sam rolled into the hospital parking lot, he spotted Andy sitting on a bench outside the hospital looking cute and worried, her eyes darting around in expectation that at any moment Luke would roll into the parking lot in his navy sedan and bust her.

The relieved, almost giddy, look on her face when she recognised that it was his trucked stopped in front of her made it almost worth the effort.

"Thank you so much, sir." She said climbing up into the cab.

He glanced over as she adjusted herself in the seat. He kind of liked having her there as long as she didn't try to touch the radio.

"Why aren't you driving the squad car?" She asked fastening her seatbelt.

"I didn't think I would be needing it today." He said, looking at her.

"Sorry. I know I am supposed to be with Callahan today. Thank you so much for helping me. I really appreciate it." She paused, "but where is the car?"

"Shaw thought it would be a good idea to let Diaz and Peck take it for a joy ride. Their giggling was exacerbating our...uh...condition." He said, motioning towards his head.

Andy thought about that for a moment before launching full on into her worried crisis mode.

"So, did you get the phone?"

He reached into his pocket and handed it to her. She grabbed it enthusiastically and began clicking through the buttons. "Someone named Keisha Simmons is at the top of the speed dial list. Maybe we should try and talk to her."

"Way ahead of you, McNally. I've already arranged to have her brought down to the station for an interview."

"Sir, has anyone ever told you that you are the best training officer ever?"

Sam just grunted in response. The Tylenol, which had made the drive to the hospital almost bearable, was beginning to wear off and the green of the stop lights was making his eyes vibrate strangely.

Silence settled in the car. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Andy fidgeting nervously and glancing over at him. It only took a minute for her to feel compelled to break the peaceful quiet with small talk.

"So, did anything exciting happen at the station this morning?"

"McNally, if you hadn't noticed, I've sort of been trying to avoid excitement this morning. Although, with you around that seems a little hard to do."

"I'm sorry, Sir." She said, sinking back into her seat sheepishly. She'd misunderstood. He hadn't meant it harshly.

"Andy", he said softly, "I'm your training officer. Any time that you need help or advice, I'm here for you. I don't want you to be afraid to ask."

"I thought that you weren't here to hold my hand Officer Swarek" she deadpanned.

Apparently, his speech hadn't fallen on entirely deaf ears. He smiled but decided that that particular contortion was not something that his face was ready for yet.

"That day, I was still a little touchy about my cover being blown. I might have said some things that weren't entirely true." A little smile formed on her lips and a blush crept up her cheeks.

Before she could speak, he continued. "Now, if you don't mind, my head is killing me so can we please have a nice, noiseless ride back to the barn?"

_TBC (Probably)_


	2. Chapter 2

Sam was standing in the hall talking to officer Williams when Keisha Simmons exited the interview room followed a moment later by Andy.

He hadn't been waiting for her or anything but he had run into Noelle on his way back to his desk and remembered that he needed to ask her about... something.

"She was one of Benny's ex-girlfriends," Andy explained when Sam began to walk beside her, "and not a very forthcoming one."

"Did you manage to get anything useful from her, like where to look for Benny?" Sam asked as they made their way back to his desk.

"She told me that she wouldn't look."

"For some reason, I get the feeling that you aren't going to take her advice." He chuckled and grimaced slightly. Andy caught the look and twirled to face him.

"You really did a number on yourself last night didn't you?"

She said leaning in to peer intently at the dark circles under his eyes and the tight expression around his lips.

Softer, she said "how's the head?" His body reacted automatically to her closeness, the hair on his arms stiffening and his mouth going dry.

His headache momentarily forgotten, he had the sudden urge to push her against the wall and kiss her, hard. Her breath caught softly and he wondered if she had watched his eyes dilate with lust.

Andy stared up at him with a mixture of confusion and desire that suggested he might not be the only person affected by their proximity.

It took a great deal of effort to remember that they were in a public place and that she was waiting for an answer. He cleared his throat, his response coming only a second later than appropriate.

"Ah. It comes and goes. Right now it's feeling a bit better actually." The tension dissipated as he deliberately widened the distance between them and began to walk again.

"I bet it is, at the rate that you are taking those pills!" She piped in running a step to catch up. "Just don't take too many. I wouldn't want you to compromise your body's ability to clot so much that you bleed out from a paper cut." He grinned.

"Oh come on. That's and old wives' tale." They reached the office and Sam was surprised how easily their conversation transitioned to the professional matters at hand.

"Hey I was thinking we should check out..."

"Previous addresses?" Sam finished her sentence. "Way ahead of you. Here's his latest." He pointed at the file on his desk that he had taken the liberty of tracking down before picking her up at the hospital. Andy leaned over the desk to take a closer look and he couldn't resist giving her behind the swiftest of appreciative glances.

"37 Seneca Drive. D'Abramo, initial M. Any warrants?"

"None in the system."

"Maybe it's a girlfriend." She said, proud of her conclusion.

"Yea, maybe." Something was bothering Sam. Andy seemed to be forgetting that this wasn't a treasure hunt. This Benny character had been involved in a serious crime. "You know if this guy is the witness to your carjacking murder you'd better hope you find him before Grieker's buddy does."

"Well Benny didn't seem too worried about that." Andy's brow furrowed prettily and Sam suddenly felt a slight panic at the thought of her facing this guy alone, especially with her amazing ability to get in the middle of situations involving guns.

"Well, I should really go with you." He said casually.

"No, no, no listen. I totally screwed this up I need to fix it." She lowered her voice and mumbled slightly "so just lend me the keys to your truck and I'll go look at the address. Then you can blow the whistle on me and ruin my..." Sam had finally processed the comment about his truck and wasn't listening anymore.

"I'm sorry you want to borrow my truck?" He exploded in disbelief. She was actually asking him to lend her his big, beautiful, shiny truck. No, she was definitely not taking his "you are not my girlfriend speech" seriously. And whose fault was that? You have no one to blame but yourself. He reminded himself. Andy had crossed her arms and leaned into her hip in an attempt at nonchalance.

"Ok, we can just go talk to Boyko right now...no problem." He wasn't terribly concerned by the Boyko threat but her blatant attempt at bluffing was so adorable that his resolve weakened and he reached for his keys. He held them out to her but pulled away when she reached for them.

"The brakes are touchy alright? Just be careful." She rolled her eyes and giddily grabbed the keys.

She quickly walked between him and the desk, passing so close that he could smell the slight sweat of her skin and the floral tang of her shampoo.

He envisioned himself tangling his fingers into her primly tied hair as he ran his nose up the length of her neck, inhaling her scent.

He could not have helped himself from turning his head to watch her go.

"This is ridiculous. Pull yourself together, man. She's a rookie for god's sake!" he thought to himself. "You just need to get laid. It's been too long since you had a woman."

"Hey uh pal. I thought Callahan had your rookie today?" Oliver broke into his thoughts.

"Yea, well Callahan's busy." Sam responded, hoping that his friend would leave it at that.

"Oh." Shaw gave him the look of a veteran cop unconvinced by a cover story. It made Sam uncomfortable. Apparently, his bluffing was no better than Andy's.

"What? I'm just helping her out." He said pretending he had no idea what Shaw was getting at.

The problem, Sam realised, was that his "I'm just helping her out" excuse was almost true. Apart from the circumstances of their meeting, he genuinely liked being around the girl.

They were well-matched as partners and he had enjoyed training her and helping her out professionally.

As much as he would have liked to pull Andy into the closest interrogation room to have his way with her, he wasn't sure that it would help.

He was quickly becoming emotionally entangled with his rookie and that was big trouble, big trouble he wasn't sure that he could do anything to prevent.


	3. Chapter 3

"Shots fired at 37 Seneca Drive." The dispatcher's voice crackling over the radio made Sam's head snap up from his paperwork.

37 Seneca was the address that McNally had gone to investigate. "Officer on scene requesting back-up. Please be advised, two male suspects left the scene heading northbound in a teal Honda."  
Sam was suddenly all motion, his hangover sluggishness transformed by the adrenaline surging through him. Every instinct in his body told him to find Andy as quickly as possible. Sam grabbed the keys to a squad car from Shaw's desk. Shaw looked up at him questioningly.

"It's my rookie. She's gotten herself and probably me in trouble, again." His explanation, delivered with his carefully practiced demeanour of calm, would have fooled most people but Oliver Shaw had been his friend and colleague for many years. He could feel Shaw assessing his tightly controlled body posture and noting his too intense eyes.

"I thought Callahan had your rookie today." Shaw reminded him as he began to walk away. Without turning around, Sam waved the hand with the keys and marched out of the station.

_He should have gone with her_, Sam thought reversing quickly out of the parking spot.

_He should have insisted that they go look for her witness together instead of just handing over his keys. He had been stupid and negligent._He flicked on his sirens. _He had known something like this was going to happen, the girl attracted trouble like no one he had ever met._ he couldn't bring himself to finish the thought. His hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his white knuckles stood out starkly against his tanned skin.

If she was hurt...

_She had better be okay and his truck...his truck had better be pristine_.

"All units please be advised, shooting suspects, Michael Simmons and William Balter, have been apprehended on Elm Avenue" the dispatcher buzzed.

"At least they caught the bastards." Sam growled aloud pulling the cruiser in behind his truck.

He could see Andy standing on the lawn talking to a young man that he assumed was Benny. He was relieved to see that neither she nor his truck appeared to have been hit by any bullets.

She glanced up and noticed him as he shut the car door. A look of relief washed over her and he couldn't help but think back to their conversation in the Black Penny parking lot.

That night, she had confessed that she hadn't been scared to walk into Anton Hill's restaurant alone because he was there.

Somehow, they had ended up so close that he could taste her breath, the pulse point in her wrist fluttering rapidly under his fingers.

He couldn't remember anyone ever looking so sexy before he kissed them, well, he would have kissed her but...Sam brought himself back to reality.

He needed a minute to pull himself together so he began inspecting his truck for damage.

He could see a twinkle of amusement in Andy's eyes as she watched him run a finger along the paint.

Satisfied that the only thing McNally had done to his truck was rearrange the seat, Sam headed towards her to make sure that she was okay.

"Oh good. You're here." A small white haired woman he didn't recognise was standing in front of him.

"Excuse me?"

"Marie D'Abramo" the woman said, holding out her hand. "Officer McNally said that another officer would be along shortly to take my statement. My Benny's a good boy. He had nothing to do with this."

"Certainly." Sam flashed Andy a smile before pulling out a notebook and leading Ms. D'Abramo to the porch. "Ms. D'Abramo where were you when the shooting occurred?"

Sam diligently recorded Ms. D'Abramo's statement. Benny's foster mother seemed like a sweet woman.

He was sorry that she had somehow become involved, if only by association, with dangerous people. Every once in a while, Sam glanced up at Andy's conversation.

Andy too had pulled out a notebook but kept getting too distracted by Benny's story to write anything down. _They would have to work on that_.

Out of the corner of his eye, Sam saw Luke's navy sedan pull up to the curb. He quickly shut his notebook and thanked Ms. D'Abramo for her time.

He wanted the chance to speak with Andy before Callahan did, in case she needed to relay some information.

"The way you kept your mouth shut with Marie. I owe you one." Sam overhead Benny as he drew near. McNally really was learning to be a good cop. People trusted her.

"McNally, how are you doing?" He asked softly, standing beside her.

"Good." She replied but he could see that the shooting had rattled her.

"She saved my ass." Benny piped in.

"Yea, she's got a lion's heart this one." Andy looked down embarrassed. He wondered if she thought he was making fun of her. "Caught the guy who shot at you. Pulled him over on Elm Avenue." He said, trying to show her that he was being serious. Andy looked up quickly.

"Is his name Mike Simmons?" Sam was slightly surprised that she had already figured it out.

"As a matter of fact it is."

"We've got the shooter in custody." Callahan said arriving in the conversation without preamble and without apparent concern for his...Sam wasn't quite sure that he wanted to define the relationship between McNally and Callahan although he thought that he had a pretty good idea what it might be.

"That's what Sam just told me." He could see Callahan's eyes narrow slightly at Andy's use of his first name.

"Why were you even here?" Luke snapped annoyed. The way that Callahan's eyes scanned over Sam's giant silver truck, Sam wondered if the question was actually an accusation. _He's jealous_.

"I ah...well the thing is..." Andy sputtered unable to come up with a believable excuse.

"Actually, it's my fault." Benny cut in. "Officer McNally brought me. I needed to pick up a few things and see my mom. You know, if I was going to do the operation." Surprise was clearly written across Andy's face. _They were going to have to work on that too._

"You still need the bullet right?"

Sam was nearly back at the station when he remembered that Andy still had his truck.

Judging from the disgruntled glare that she had been giving a smug looking Luke, Andy would be at the hospital until she found out that her witness was ok. He was willing to wait until she was ready.


	4. Chapter 4

Sam walked out into the parking lot at the end of his shift, surprised to see his truck parked halfway down the row of cars.

Since he hadn't seen or heard from McNally since he had left the D'Abramo residence, he had assumed that she was still at the hospital.

He had contemplated taking a cab there, figuring that she probably needed someone to keep her company or drive her home.

It seemed odd that she would have returned to the station and not bothered to find him. He saw Nash exiting the station doors and called out to her.

"Nash. Have you seen McNally? She has my keys."

Nash nodded, motioning to the door.

"She'll be out in a minute." Traci waited a moment, considering whether to add anything else. "She's had a rough day. Her witness didn't make it through surgery."

Sam nodded, things starting to make sense.

"Thanks, Traci." He said, waving goodnight to the rookie.

"Goodnight, Sir."

Sam leaned back against the hood of his truck. He closed his eyes and breathed in the cool night air. He was tired but finally starting to feel human again.

"You coming for a drink, pal?" Sam opened his eyes to see Oliver standing before him. He smiled and shook his head no.

A drink was the last thing that he wanted. The pain of his hangover was a little too fresh in his memory. He was pretty sure that he had no interest in drinking...tonight, at least.

Maybe he would even go home and pour all of his alcohol down the sink for good measure.

"You still feeling it?" Oliver asked, obviously still feeling it himself. When Sam raised a sceptical eyebrow, Shaw replied, "Yea yea yea. Hair of the dog my friend it's the only cure." Sam laughed.

"Na. No I'm just waiting for my keys."He glanced towards the station and saw Andy exiting the building. "And you my friend" he said turning back to Oliver, "should go straight home and go to bed."

"Yea. You're taking care of everybody today." Shaw replied his eyes following Sam's earlier gaze. He pivoted on one foot so that his back was to Andy and leaned in towards Sam.

"Are you, uh, waiting for your rookie?"

"No, I told you," Sam said in a low voice, glancing at Andy who was only a few paces away "I'm waiting for my keys."

"Yea, yea, yea, you know, Sammy, training officers and rookies...can't..." Oliver couldn't seem to spit out the rest of his sentence but Sam knew full well what he was getting at. The no relationships between training officers and rookies policy was one that the department took very seriously. Sam raised his eyebrows to indicate that he had never even considered doing what Shaw was implying. He had, of course considered it, but if he was being honest with himself, Sam was doubtful that Andy reciprocated his feelings. She was sleeping with Callahan for God's sake.

Andy had reached them and Shaw attempted to extricate himself as quickly as possible.

"I'm going to go. I'll be at the penny, if you wanna hang or anything. Hi" he waved to Andy. "Goodnight."

Sam chuckled at his friend's antics and slapped him across the shoulder before turning his full attention to Andy. Her eyes were moist and her nostrils a little red. It was obvious that she had been crying but she looked beautiful. She held out the keys and dropped them into his hand limply.

"Thank you, for the car." She said, looking deflated and sad. He had a sudden urge to wrap his arms around her and hold her but realising how inappropriate that would be in the police station parking lot, he crossed them tightly across his chest instead.

"I heard about your witness."

"Uh. He was never a witness." She sniffled. "He was always just, evidence." She tried to explain why she was upset but couldn't seem to find the correct words. "It's a...this job is...I guess I just have to get used to it, right?" He had seen Andy sad, angry, and frustrated but never defeated and disillusioned with police work. The smile fell from his face as he nodded. He had tried to save the world too when he was a rookie. Maybe he wasn't entirely out of the habit.

"Do you need anything?" He asked. She shook her head. "Wanna go for a drink? Need a ride home?"

"No, I just need a..."She paused and an idea swept across her face. "Actually, what do you know about plumbing?" Sam grinned.

"Jump in. I can't wait to see where this is going."

She smiled radiantly and he mirrored her expression.

* * *

Sam squeezed into the driver's seat. His knees scrunched up against the steering wheel.

"Geez, McNally." He said, giving her a once over as he readjusted the seat. "I had no idea you were so short."

She just rolled her eyes and buckled her seat belt. "So, where exactly are we headed?" Before she could answer, Sam turned the key in the ignition and country music filled the cab.

"Whoa, girl! What have you been doing in my truck?" He cried, pressing one of the preset buttons as quickly as he could.

The twanging of guitars was cut short by a foreign correspondent reporting from Kabul. "Three Canadian soldiers and one embedded journalist were injured today when a roadside bomb exploded outside of Kandahar..."

"Turn left here. I happen to like country music you know." Andy said, her shoulders set for a fight. Sam glanced over at her and smirked, he enjoyed their little spats.

"Why? It's all twanging and yodelling, my wife left me, my dog died, and I ran out of whiskey." He said loudly. Andy hmmphed.

"Country music usually has a story. I like that. Besides it's better than that screeching death metal that was on the radio when I got in here."

"That is not death metal. It is CLASSIC ROCK. Clas-sic as in widely considered to be timeless."

"Whatever, it sounded like a cat being run over by a train to me." He wasn't quite sure if she was being serious but judging by the small smile ghosting on her lips, she was enjoying the argument just as much as he was.

"You know, McNally, it's a good thing we are only allowed to listen to the police radio in our squad car, otherwise this might become a big issue for our partnership."

Her head snapped towards him, an unreadable expression in her eyes. He tried to think over what could have said that would have caused such a reaction. It quickly dawned on him that he'd said, "our squad car" instead of his usual "my car, my rules" schtick.

"Turn right" Andy said and she was about to say more when the radio caught her attention.

"In other news, the Toronto Police Department have two suspects in custody who they believe may be connected to a string of high profile car-jackings and murders. The suspects were apprehended after a drive-by shooting in the o-hundred block of Seneca Drive. One man died later in hospital." Sam reached forward and clicked the radio off.

"They didn't even get it right." Andy said quietly.

"They never do. Every time, I'm involved in a case that's reported on the news, they get something wrong." Sam assured her but Andy wasn't listening.

"I killed him!" She said pointing to her chest. "I killed him and they said that he died in a drive by shooting."

Sam pulled the car over to the side of the road and turned to Andy.

"Andy McNally, you did not kill that man."

"I did! He didn't want to have the surgery. He did it for me." Tears spilled down Andy's cheeks.

"Listen to me." Sam lifted her chin with his hand so that she was looking directly at him. "You didn't kill him. You saved his ass. He told me so himself." She sniffed. "Benny had a hard life. He was a good kid but he made a lot of bad choices that had nothing to do with you." His thumb brushed a tear off of her cheek.

"I know it's stupid. That it's part of the job but I can't stop thinking that he didn't have to have surgery. I could have convinced him...he trusted me. He just wanted to do the right thing."

"Shh...It's not stupid to feel like this." He pulled her close into his chest and held her. She didn't resist, her hands coming up to ball his shirt.

"You did good police work today. He volunteered to do the surgery because he respected what you had done for him. That was his choice." He whispered into her hair.

"Oh don't go all Luke on me now." She half-laughed, half-sobbed. She lowered her voice into her best Callahan impression. "It's not your job to tell people what they should and shouldn't do, Andy. It's your job to help close this case."

Sam chuckled.

"No offence Andy, I know that you and Callahan have a thing, but the guy's a complete tool." He could feel Andy hiccup her agreement into his chest.

"Yea, he is a tool." She sniffled. "I guess...I guess I thought that people always came first in this job. I mean you could have had the evidence to send Anton Hill to jail but you decided that Emily was more important. I really respect you for that decision."

"We all have regrets, McNally. I wish that I had never had to make that choice." He said, remembering the terror he had felt for Emily when his cover was blown.

"But you made the right one." She said looking up into his eyes. "Luke never saw Benny's value as a person, just as a missing piece of evidence. If that is the kind of police officer I am supposed to be, I don't think I can do it."

"You don't have to. Come on, Andy you already have great instincts as a cop and you are only going to get better. Callahan is a decent officer. He works hard and he gets results but there's a reason he works homicide and doesn't get invited to poker games. He doesn't understand the human element of policing. He deals better with pictures and dead people."

"I have horrible taste in men." Andy groaned. Sam was surprised that she was broaching this topic.

"I'm sure it can't be that bad." He said, curious but unsure if he wanted to hear it.

"I always go for the bad boy and it never works out. So this time, I told myself I was going to do myself a favour and go for the nice guy. I thought he was perfect but it ended like all the rest." Sam tried to focus on the conversation at hand rather than on some extremely interesting pieces of information that she had just imparted.

"Oh come on McNally. What are you, twelve? Perfect is boring. You'd never have anything to talk about."

"You're right" she sighed.

"Besides, I'm pretty sure perfect girls don't like country music." Andy hit his chest in mock offence and pulled away from him.

"Har, har. Very funny." She chuckled and tried to wipe away the damp patches that her tears had left on his shirt. He wished that she would stop. Her hands on his torso were stirring up feelings that he wasn't sure he was ready to deal with at that moment.

"Sorry. I don't remember the last time I cried like that." She said, giving up on the spots.

He shrugged.

"Are you feeling better?" She nodded. "Want me to take you home?" She shook her head. "Want to tell me where we're going?"

"Plumbing." She replied.

"Plumbing, it is."


End file.
